38 Birthdays . . . and this one may be the best!

I cried before I went to sleep last night, and it had everything to do with my 38th birthday. And this man specifically:

I try not to make a habit of posting sappy things about my husband. This is mainly because I was single for 35 years, and sometimes when you're single you don't like to read sappy things about other people's wonderful husbands. Trust me. But I've got to make an exception this time. David went over the top this year for my birthday.

There was this yummy gluten-free chocolate cake he made. (Keep in mind, he's been the lone star in the kitchen lately. Me: I've had my face buried in seminary textbooks.) Then there was the dinner at Biaggi's, where I enjoyed a gluten-free pasta dish that may be illegal in some states. It was that good.

And the birthday ice cream....

And the card and letter from David that I have now reread several times over.

And you have to understand that this was preceded by a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

And a purple ipod, and a very thoughtful necklace. And I have to be honest with you. I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS LAVISHNESS. Others might expect this kind of hullaballoo on their birthdays, but not me. It makes me a little restless and itchy. And for some reason, after we got home last night and I watched a Meryl Streep movie, I was just weepy as I went to bed.

The weight of many birthdays I spent as a single hung in the air all around me, and I remembered some happy times, but some very lonely times, too. Times when I questioned God's provision for me. Times when men couldn't love me the way I wanted them to. Breakups and depression. Shattered dreams. Questions about my future.

And lying in bed, wondering at the imperfect-but-wonderful and committed way David loves me and shows His love, I was reminded of God's good care. And, honestly, that He cares for me no matter what my circumstance. At present, though, through this wonderful man who just happened to sit on the other end of the Internet one state away...and who snuck into my life in such an unassuming way.

Tonight I'm reflecting on the kiss a dear friend delivered to me in Sunday School, and the hugs, and the cards, and the amazing facebook community (Jeanette's poem and so many well wishes!), and the gifts, and I just can't quite take it all in. I can't thank God enough for caring for me through people with skin on. (You are His beautiful hands and feet, dear ones.)

So thanks for indulging me, and I guess my point is this: my heavenly Father has seen me through physical disability, and deep depression, and job loss, and breakups, and the death of my father, and infertility, and obstacles in seminary, and who knows what else will come. But He's faithful; oh, how He is. So no matter what your corner of the world looks like tonight, I hope you'll tune in to echoes of His provision, His care, and His intimate love for you. My hope and prayer is that you will somehow know that the best truly is yet to come, because of what God has done for us in reaching out to us through His Son, Jesus.

"For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake you nor let you down (relax my hold on you)! Assuredly not!"
Hebrews 13:5b, The Amplified Bible

Something crazy

Last night the husband and I did something crazy, and it turned out splendidly.

Being the more spontaneous one in our relationship, I told him we needed to jump in the car and the inspiration for dinner would hit us. It had been a long day.  I had a great call with a business connection that gave me insight into a project. I made and served lunch at my home to two precious women who form a writing team with me. We're involved in a God-thing, a little project that seems to possibly be going places, against all odds. Something that could allow us to join in the work we believe God so desperately wants to do in us and around us. We ate beautiful plates of chicken salad and fruit while listening to classical music.  We prayed and poured out our hearts to God. We brainstormed. And two Skype calls and one physical therapy appointment after that, it became clear that no one in our home was interested in kitchen duty.

Since we've hit all the usual dining spots in our town, we headed toward my seminary's little town and nice little place on a lake. On the way, we called some seminary friends who live in this town, and being the hospitable types who were already having one seminary guest for dinner, they generously invited us to their home, too, for a dinner which was happening 45 minutes later. Exactly the amount of time it would take us to get there. We got there right on time to enjoy a meal of steak, potatoes, corn on the cob, coleslaw, salad, fresh-cut melon, and crepes for dessert. And all we brought was the Coca-Cola and apple juice we picked up on the way. We enjoyed every minute of it!

So I got to daydreaming on the way home and thinking about how God knows our days and what we need and how to bless us. And sometimes He does stuff like this, probably to get our attention, to show us that He is our source of refreshment. And when we are weary, when we can't even make up our minds about dinner, can't decide if we're tired, hungry, thirsty, lonely, etc., He sometimes steps in to dish up just what we didn't even know we needed.

In this case, dinner with three other lovely, beautiful people with whom our bodies, minds, and souls were refreshed. Thanks Jim, Christy, and Adam. Something crazy turned out to be just . . . right.
Sweet, unexpected fellowship from generous hearts that love well. And thank you, Abba-Father, for knowing what we need and surprising and delighting us by your provision. And to think, I didn't even have to ask.

"...for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
Matthew 6:8