Sunday, September 19, 2010

38 Birthdays . . . and this one may be the best!

I cried before I went to sleep last night, and it had everything to do with my 38th birthday. And this man specifically:

I try not to make a habit of posting sappy things about my husband. This is mainly because I was single for 35 years, and sometimes when you're single you don't like to read sappy things about other people's wonderful husbands. Trust me. But I've got to make an exception this time. David went over the top this year for my birthday.

There was this yummy gluten-free chocolate cake he made. (Keep in mind, he's been the lone star in the kitchen lately. Me: I've had my face buried in seminary textbooks.) Then there was the dinner at Biaggi's, where I enjoyed a gluten-free pasta dish that may be illegal in some states. It was that good.

And the birthday ice cream....

And the card and letter from David that I have now reread several times over.

And you have to understand that this was preceded by a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

And a purple ipod, and a very thoughtful necklace. And I have to be honest with you. I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS LAVISHNESS. Others might expect this kind of hullaballoo on their birthdays, but not me. It makes me a little restless and itchy. And for some reason, after we got home last night and I watched a Meryl Streep movie, I was just weepy as I went to bed.

The weight of many birthdays I spent as a single hung in the air all around me, and I remembered some happy times, but some very lonely times, too. Times when I questioned God's provision for me. Times when men couldn't love me the way I wanted them to. Breakups and depression. Shattered dreams. Questions about my future.

And lying in bed, wondering at the imperfect-but-wonderful and committed way David loves me and shows His love, I was reminded of God's good care. And, honestly, that He cares for me no matter what my circumstance. At present, though, through this wonderful man who just happened to sit on the other end of the Internet one state away...and who snuck into my life in such an unassuming way.

Tonight I'm reflecting on the kiss a dear friend delivered to me in Sunday School, and the hugs, and the cards, and the amazing facebook community (Jeanette's poem and so many well wishes!), and the gifts, and I just can't quite take it all in. I can't thank God enough for caring for me through people with skin on. (You are His beautiful hands and feet, dear ones.)

So thanks for indulging me, and I guess my point is this: my heavenly Father has seen me through physical disability, and deep depression, and job loss, and breakups, and the death of my father, and infertility, and obstacles in seminary, and who knows what else will come. But He's faithful; oh, how He is. So no matter what your corner of the world looks like tonight, I hope you'll tune in to echoes of His provision, His care, and His intimate love for you. My hope and prayer is that you will somehow know that the best truly is yet to come, because of what God has done for us in reaching out to us through His Son, Jesus.

"For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake you nor let you down (relax my hold on you)! Assuredly not!"
Hebrews 13:5b, The Amplified Bible


  1. Girl, I am SOOO thrilled for you that you found the husband who adores & loves you exactly the way you are. As I was reading this entry I could identify with so much of what you wrote. I was 38 when I got married and unfortunately now @ 39 I'm already back to the single life. How I pray that God continues to bless your & David's life together and that he has MANY more birthdays to spoil you on!

  2. Hugs to you, Lori. Hope our paths can cross in person again someday.